I Should Explain

I stopped posting because my mother kept reading my blogs and leaving annoying messages. It is unclear if she has subscribed to this blog or not. Granted, I could block her, but then she would explain to me, in person, that she can't make comments anymore ... and nobody wants that. Thus, if she comments to this post, we will know won't we - all two of you that happen upon this blog.

Erin, sister, are you still out there? I miss you.

Went bridesmaid dress shopping on Saturday. I will be wearing green and there will probably be major ruching involved. The wedding is in April, I will totally post pictures. I'm not afraid. Or too embarrassed. Brave words considering we haven't decided on a dress yet...

I have decided now that while I don't have a full time job, I should be doing more with my time. Up until today, I have worked sporadically, browsed InStyle.com, People.com, and updated myself on every amusing tv show that deigns to put its episodes on-line. No! That does not include "Passions". Stop it! I will now try to read all those books I purchased in college, but never read, blog about interesting (read: whatever amuses me at the time, but will probably amuse no one else) things, and stop applying for Administrative Assistant jobs, because I'm terrified I will never be paid to teach. A-boo.

Jason's birthday is quickly approaching, I can't decide if I should try to make him several pies from scratch or buy him flavored, well, let's call it old cereal in a bottle. Thoughts?

Basketball game

Went to the women's basketball game last night. Good times. There were only 14 people in the band, so we sounded tiny and Mustang Sally was pathetic. It was laughable and sad at the same time.

Have you seen "Get Shorty"? If you haven't, you won't get this. As I was walking home from the game, my dad called me. He said, "We're making chili here at the house with all this hamburger meat."
"Yeah."
"And it's chilly outside.
"It's chili inside and it's chilly outside."
heh.

For a long time my mother has told me that she doesn't really like my name. So last year she said I could change it to whatever I wanted, in case I no longer wanted to be confused with African American professional athletes and skeetzy porn stars. Then a few months ago she said I could go by my initials. I would now be called D.B. You know, like D.B. Sweeney from those brat pack movies. Really? Really? Then my dad called this morning - I didn't answer because it was 8:19am and too damn early for me to race downstairs to find my cell. So when I went to check my voicemail, it was from my father. He said, "Your mother and I have decided to change your name to Mercedes. Just wanted to let you know. If you have any questions you can call us back."

This Friday

Went to see Carlos Mancia (Mind of Mancia from Comedy Central) at UTA with some people from high school. Okay, soooo much fun. The two people that opened for him were, of course, hilarious and he was awesome. Normally many comedians aren't as funny as they think they are but he ... was sooo hilarious. He really rocks. Then we went to TGIFriday for dinner. Then we watched tv, but THEN I finally got to see "Waiting". Hilarious. A night of amusement. Stayed up till the morning, slept all day. Saturday...I sat in bed in my comfy t-shirt and lined wind pants with my hair in a towel turban as several plans dropped in and out ... and finally sweet, sweet nothing. Didn't feel fabulous, so study, AIM, movie, sleep. It's been productive. Sean has informed me that he will tell Erin that I hate her and am lazy and don't care about her, but I'm okay with that. She knows the truth.

I miss you Erin!!! Remember when our beds were next to each other in CIT lodge? That was an awesome summer. Remember when we bucket-brigaded you and you had borrowed my discman? Curses! Hope you had a good spring break.

Ninja chop!

So I'm sitting at my computer, hitting the Next Blog button and reading other people's random blogs, when Sean runs into the condo and puts down a bag and walks into the kitchen. Then he comes out of the kitchen and walks over to the couch and say, "Are you busy?". Heh. Heh.

"Why?" I asked.

"Do you want to make me a ninja costume?" he said.

"Why yes I do." I said in all seriousness.

"I bought fabric, you might want to Google a costume and go from that." he said.

"Okay ... when do you need it?" I wondered.

"Really soon. Like five o'clock." he said.

(Please note that it is 4:21pm)

"AAAHHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAA!" I said.

So, I pulled out a large piece of black fabric from the plastic bag and got to work. After some discussion and some talent drama, Sean left and then came back with a tall, skinny Japanese guy and a pack of Gold Coasts. We fit the costume and Sean set up his equipment. The "ninja" smoked a cigarette through his face mask and macked for the camera. It was hilarious! Unfortunately, I smell and taste like cigarettes. Cheap nasty cigarettes. Cheapest ones at 7-11! I would have chipped in for something nicer, Cloves. Maybe something that tastes like vanilla. So gross. A delightful end to a successful day.


Newsflash: Sean just walked into the living room with the camera and goes, "Oh, shit." Apparently he didn't open something, so nothing was recorded. Boo. He'll have to re-shoot some other time. Totally sucks.


Newsflash #2: Tim and Connie are coming on Sunday to pick up the chest from in front of the fireplace and the monstrosity from my room. It's all coming together!!! Woot! I have decided maybe I will forgo the "real" furniture route and Container Store my room. So tempting. I think that's what I'll do.

Have a super weekend, everybody!

So my mother called me

at like 7:30pm last week. She asked if I could go to Bed, Bath, & Beyond to help her pick out some stuff for the house. Note: she didn't ask if I wanted to go, she asked if I "could". I was just watching tv, so I said yes. On the way over there we were talking about someone's name. This conversation led to her saying "I hate the name Lynn. I really don't care for Devon. I really should have thought about your name more carefully. Your grandmother liked it. Feel free to change it if you want to." Oh, thanks.

I shit you not.



Well, once we arrived, we picked out some bedding for the master bedroom. On the way home I told her I wanted all white bedding that would allow me to put my two twin beds together to form one ginormous bed that takes up my entire room. So she said I could have her old bedding. Sweet! So now I have fancy, soft, white bedding and a ginormous bed that takes up my entire room. Lynn walks up stairs after it's all set up and she goes, "I always thought you had more room in here." Ha ... ha ... haha. No, this is why there is crap everywhere. No room. I had way more room when I lived in the dorms. It's ironic isn't it. Dorms feel like crap until you realize the little things like space and two kinds of keys to enter are so verrrrry important.

Repeat after me, It's Thursday!

All day today I would get really excited and then really panic - y that today was Friday. Yay the weekend, wait I have nothing planned. No work! Nothing to do. There's been no food in the house and I actually went to Taco Bell, ahhhh, for the first time in several weeks and the worst part of my day ... gave me Dr. Pepper instead of Pepsi. That's just cruel! It's still here if you want it, sweating on Sean's desk. Let me know.

Last night I was settling in to watch Veronica Mars after a very exciting American Idol spotting. Congrats RICKEY!! Good luck in Hollywood!! Woot!! Even Simon said something nice about him.

Anyway, I was about ten minutes into Veronica Mars when Lynn called to tell me that she couldn't find her car keys. She had left campus to run some errand and had her keys when she got back around 4:30pm, but now she has no idea where they are - so we retraced her steps all through Carr-Collins and the Dean's Suite. We searched up and down the law quad, hassled several people on the custodial staff and whoever each of them called on their cell phones to translate (because I never learned how to speak Spanish!!). We looked on the floor, in every possible lost and found place, she is sure that she dropped them or kicked something when she was in the bathroom, maybe they are in there. Nothing. We try to look in the car, but it is very dark, so we look around the car and under the car. Here, there, and everywhere. But finally Lynn called SMUPD and asked if anyone had returned any keys ... no.

So, we had a pleasant drive back to Bedford. Once we got there Lynn found her spare keys, we chatted about what she was doing to fix up the house and how much they need to fix before they try to put it on the market. Note to self: pick up all personal items before Lynn and Steve throw them away. Then we drove back to SMU and Lynn unlocked the door and there they were, her keys in the cup holder of her car. Then she drove home, I drove back to the condo and we all lived happily ever after.

And then I updated my profile on MySpace. Geesh!

Labor Day Weekend.

If I recall correctly, Friday night of the Labor Day weekend, I fell asleep as soon as I got home from school. I woke up when Austen called to see if I was interested in driving to Fort Worth. Mike wanted to head out around 9:00pm and it was about 7:35pm when he called, which gave me a little under and hour to wake up, get myself together, and leave for Fort Worth. But I said, oh yeah, I can be there by 8:30pm. No problem. Except I desperately needed a shower and I was sick of going out with Jacque and Austen and Mike and always looking like shit and being tired. If I'm going to look that exhausted I want to be clean, and have make-up on. Of course. Made it there a little after 9:00pm. Jacque and Austen were making junk food for dinner. Mmm...dinner. Jacque was surfing My Space and Facebook. Yes, on a Friday night, what the hell else are you going to be doing? I watched that Hulk Hogan reality show until we were ready to go. Oh my gosh, it's better than The Osbourne's. So we went to 8.0 in downtown Ft. Worth and listened to really loud, but good, salsa. They played other stuff, but all I can remember is "Conga". So therefore, it is a salsa band. "Ironic" by Alanis Morrisette could have been the last song they played for all I remember. But we ended up at another bar, I don't remember which one, but it was pretty interesting. By this time I was quite tired. Went home. Slept. Woke up, went to the Baylor game. More fun than sliced bread. Or whatever. It was fun to see all those alumni. Sunday morning Sean and I drove up to Tulsa after picking up Brian in Norman. Not too ridiculous. We ate a lot, because that's barely the only thing we can do without too much conflict. Now I say barely because Steve and Erin were fighting all throughout dinner at PF Chang's. About a blazer. I don't want to talk about it. Erin, Sean, Brian, and I got to stay at the Double Tree and they have the best beds EVER! Ohhhh...I could live in those beds. We saw "An Unfinished Life". Very good. Then we came home. And I went to IKEA with Ann. Good times. Bought a wok. Don't judge me. Okay, so I haven't opened it yet. Bite me.

My mother has been surfing the internet. This column is now being sensored for content and language.

Update

Luke never picked up his crap, so Kim keeps the flask and Jacque will eventually get Buffy Season 5, if I remember to get it back from Kim.

I don't have mono.

No word on our cousin. I don't think he is going to acknowledge Sean. Isn't that sad?

Something I didn't even know...

So I found out this evening that my cousin Brian, has apparently graduated from high school, was written up in Wired, and is a freshman at MIT. Now, granted my family is not known for being close, but I didn't even know he graduated. What's that about? I know that I only met that family twice, but still ... that's some harsh business.

Sean requested to be his friend and he hasn't accepted yet. If he doesn't, what does that say? I'm still not entirely convinced that it is him, he looks like one of those highland park boys with the rugby shirt, long wavy hair, and a baseball cap. We'll find out.

Friday Night!

So it's Friday night night, I got off work, I took a nap, because damn I was tired. I haven't gotten any word about the mono, but I'm not sick, so that's a plus. Luke hasn't called about his crap yet. The tension mounts. Oh the anticipation! I watched a movie and fell asleep around 4:30pm. Just as I was getting into deep sleep, my phone rings. I picked it up and vaguely heard Jacque talking at the other end. She kept asking me if I was at home. I couldn't understand what the word "home" meant, and I was really confused as to why she cared so much. I might have said something like "muhhh". Then I heard her say she was coming over.

I went downstairs and sat on the couch to get ready ... for something. I laid down for a few minutes and suddenly remembered that someone was coming over. Probably Jacque. I should be awake for that. No, no, that doesn't really matter to me as much as getting some more sleeeeeeeeeeeeep. I'll go unlock the door and she can let herself in. I sat back down on the couch and slid into a comfortable sleep position. Before I knew it Jacque came bouncing into the condo, thrilled about something. I tried desperately to wake up and care. She announced that she was in a good mood. Super. Okay, okay. I'll be in a good mood too, just give me a minute. We decide to go get dinner. I mention Taco Bell and she goes for it. We get half way there and she says, I don't want Taco Bell, let's go to Chick-fil-et. Done! That's way better than Taco Bell. I slowly begin to wake up. We get there, order our food, and sit down. Jacque begins talking about how much she loves Chick-fil-et. That it is the best fast food restaurant and if she had to work in fast food this would be the one she would work at ... and why! We talk about her moving into her new apartment and what we are going to do this evening. I called Kim to see what she was doing and she said she'd stop by for a bit, but probably not long enough to watch one of the movies we had decided to rent.

Jacque decided that she wanted to stop at the SMU bookstore to look around and it was good times. I got a wall calendar and purchased Pledged, the book on sororities. Jacque started reading some interesting parts of it out loud while I began making margaritas. The phone rings and I ignore it like it's not even there, I'm getting good at that. Sean yells down that Lynn wants to talk to me, so I pick up the receiver. She asks me if I am ready to get my books.

Well, no, I didn't exactly have any warning and I need to talk to my advisor and change some classes.

DEVON, YOU HAVE TO DO THAT NOW!!!

Well, it's Friday night... I know I wouldn't have agreed to get books with her had I been given the choice, but at least I would have been prepared for a fight.

Then she asks me when I will declare teaching as my major. I have explained to her hundreds upon hundreds of times that SMU has not for a long time, and does not currently have teaching as a major and that all I have to do is drop a Psyc class. Then she tells me that I need to drop one that I can take next semester.

This is exactly what I told her in November and that it was a very scary thing for me to do, press my luck that the last class I need for my major will fit around my studnet teaching schedule, but that's what Lynn told me to do, so that was the plan. I explained to her that I already know that and she said that I have to buy my books soon. I said okay.

She said that I had to fix my schedule soon in order to buy my books. Now at this point a 13 year old would have said, duh mom! But I hung up the phone. One of the few pet peeves I have in life is having the same conversation over and over again. I refuse to repeat myself to the same person all the time. There are three people in this world that will ask me the same question 4 or 5 times. One is 87 and has an excuse, but Lynn is another. Every time she comes over she asks me about the three pairs of sunglasses on the shelf below the mirror. They have been there for about 9 months. Sean has not moved them and every time Lynn comes into the condo she looks at them picks them up one by one and then asks me who they belong to. The first few times I said Sean. When she asked me why he had so many, I replied, because you bought them for him. Now, 6 months into this conversation, I say, you've already asked me that this week, I'm not answering that again. Nothing has changed, she's just crazy.

I was at home with Erin and Sean and some of their friends and Lynn wanted us to return some movies to Blockbuster. I said okay, and Lynn said, no, right now. Erin and Sean said in a minute. Lynn asked again about 5 minutes later, interrupting their conversation, and they said no. Lynn asked a third time and they finally said okay, we'll return the movies. Lynn said thank you, here they are. They grabbed their cell phones, their wallets, and their jackets. Erin grabbed the keys to her car and said, okay we're off. Lynn said, where are you going? I understand that I am being petty and I lack patience with her, but I really don't care anymore. Until she comes to me with a doctor's note and some Alzheimer's medication, I refuse to have those conversations.

So a few minutes later Lynn comes into condo fuming. I am in just shaking Jacque's margarita and Lynn goes, why are you drinking? I think, because it's Friday night, you're a bitch and drinking helps me forget I'm your daughter. But I say, I'm not Jacque is! I think put up my margarita glass and hand Jacque her drink. Jacque stands at the bar trying to be nonchalant. Lynn and I start yelling at each other. She starts cleaning. She tells me that she found the band shirt that I accused her of taking home, which resulted in me not going to the game the night before. She had taken it home. She begins cleaning the kitchen and I don't even bother telling her not to anymore. I used to beg that she'd just sit down and stop, but she refuses siting that if she didn't do it, the cleaning would never get done. The standard response to that from every member of my family is, if we don't learn to do it ourselves, we never will. But logic is no match for the convoluted brain in my mother.

Eventually she leaves with Sean to get his textbooks and Jacque breathes a sigh of relief. I can only imagine how awkward that must have been for her. Austen comes over and Kim and Laura and their boys arrive soon after. There are margaritas all around and we are having a pleasant conversation when Lynn returns with Sean. She begins cleaning again, doing the dishes. I am ignoring her, but at one point someone mouthes to me, What is she doing? I had told the group about the incident before they arrived and all I could say was, she's cleaning. Eventually she left and then the group left and Austen and Jacque and I went to Blockbuster to rent some movies. It took forever, but we decided on "I, Robot" and "Event Horizon", because Austen said it was the scariest movie he had ever seen and refused to watch it. So we watched that one first. We watched "I, Robot" second, for me to take my mind off the slight scare from the previous movie. It wasn't that scary for the rest of us, but fear is very individual and I can see how Austen would be terrified by that movie. I personally and terrified by every movie, trailer and film clip. But I'm a wuss.

Man, I'm exhausted. Going to sleep now.

Hey Wanna Hear Something Funny?

I'm upstairs working on my Math and Science final on Sean's computer and Sean is downstairs. He had just taken a shower and I am assuming he went back downstairs to finish the 90 page script that was due last Thursday. Sean comes to the stairs and goes, "Hey, you wanna hear something funny?" And I said yes, because I'm always up for a laugh. Sean goes, "I closed my script at 73 pages before I went to take a shower and just now when I went back to finish it the file only has 58 pages".

Haha.

So I go downstairs and Sean is all, "I thought it was auto-saving and it didn't ask me to save when I closed it, it just closed". To which I replied, "the program does have auto-save" (it's movie script writing program that saves like every 10 minutes so you don't lose anything important). I tell him to look at the other files, maybe he saved it there. So he looks at all the files and one of them has 73 pages. It is similar to the one he thought he was working on, but different. So he didn't lose it. Everything is okay. He's just 18 pages from the cut-off and he's 4 days late. Sean goes, "if that was gone, I was going to kill myself". "Yeah", I replied.

Pretty funny huh?

No, thank YOU!

This Thanksgiving was nice. There were only 4 arguments between Wednesday and Sunday. I was only involved in two of them, but I started neither. We were all trying to be super nice, since Erin was home from the academy. We were supposed to have a mini-Thanksgiving of sorts Wednesday night so Erin could have the sweet potato casserole that my mother makes, but instead we went to the Olive Garden for lunch and Lynn and Sean and Erin went shopping while Steve and I went to Dallas, him to work, me to the condo to do some homework. Then instead of dinner, Erin and Sean went to a movie, while Steve and I worked until 9:00pm. It's almost like we're a real family.

But we made it to Bedford in time to watch "Holiday Inn" and eat bad pumpkin pie. Eww. If you haven't seen this movie, I highly recommend it. Bing Crosby, Fred Astaire, two random women and just enough cheese to make it enjoyable. Three cheers for fake snow and black-face. I have loved this movie since I was little. And it was a major plus, because Lynn had initially wanted to watch "A Christmas Story" which is too embarrassing for words. Stupid little kid. He'll shoot his eye out!

Anyway, overslept Thursday morning and we barely made it to Thanksgiving lunch at some restaurant (that used to be the Adam's Mark, but isn't now) in Tulsa. Brian Wright came with, after having a quick Thanksgiving breakfast with his parents. It's like I have two brothers. I saw"Tthe Incredibles" for the second time and we watched as many movies as we could fit into the day, because Erin doesn't get out much and she had to catch up. I got to pick out one of my Christmas presents from my mother, a hot red weekend bag from Bath and Body Works. Can we say excitement? OH, I can.

Big excitement of the weekend, Lynn was walking through the theater when I noticed a large napkin stuck to the bottom of her shoe - this sent the whole family including Gran-Jan, into fits of laughter. Then the next morning when we were out at breakfast, Gran-Jan was heading to the bathroom and Lynn noticed a small needle on her butt. That's pretty much it.

I actually went out with my whole family on a Friday night and didn't give a damn who saw me. It made things easier because we were in Tulsa. When I was in high school, I really wouldn't have been caught dead with them. Even in Tulsa. I have found hidden depths. Am perhaps slowly becoming mature. But have also discovered incredible urge to start a food fight somewhere. Look out!

When we got back to Bedford on Saturday afternoon we went to Spring Creek BBQ so Erin could eat their freshly baked rolls. Then we went to Don Pablos for dinner and I saw "The Incredibles" for the third time. I don't know, it just happened that way. Jacque, Ann, and Austen came along. The waiter spilled coke on poor Ann, so we didn't tip him. He didn't offer to comp anything, no dessert, no free meal. Poor Ann. She probably should have sulked more; like Sean did when the waiter spilled avocado all over him at Chili's. Perhaps it was the area, Don Pablos of Grapevine doesn't have as much class as the Chili's on Knox. Or is it McKinney. Whatever. Jerks.

We played "Shout About Movies!" until 2:30am. It was good times, but I hate when people get competitive, it really freaks me out. Especially when Erin called me a bitch and told me to hand over the remote. Is that entirely necessary? Freaking military - wait, I can't blame the Air Force, the bitch comment was all Erin. Jacque, Austen and I lost miserably in the first two rounds, but we owned in the last one. We were beating them by sooo much, that even if they bet the maximum, which is to say doubling their score - a la Jeopardy - they still wouldn't be able to win. Muahhahaha. Excellent.

I have so much homework. Erin left today and Sean and I returned to Dallas. I miss her already. I have so much homework. Wait, I already said that. But I would rather write a blog entry. I would like to think that nobody reads this, but I know that at least two people will get sooooo bored this week that they will check for an update. Never the less I will drop a little ramble in here, just so I don't have to think about it anymore.

Monologue has been deleted after further contemplation. Will now step down off soap box and return to homework.

Hope my three loyal fans had a happy Thanksgiving, and I'm glad Frank had fun in Mexico. With someone else's family. Whatever.

I miss Erin!

I miss Erin soooo much. I read her live journal and talk to her occasionally when I am on-line...it makes me soooo sad. Today she goes, I think I'm going to sleep at my desk. I'm not in my room, so it's not really my desk. I wish I could go to my room and take nap.

In the Air Force Academy, you can't nap or lay down during certain times, like during daylight hours, and then some evening hours too. I shit you not. No naps. She wakes up at 5am and doesn't go to sleep until 11pm. The same day that I wrote about wanting to be in Bedford or at camp, she wrote about wanting to be somewhere else too. Here's an excerpt:

I want hot cocoa, with marshmallows. I want to swing on a tire swing. I want to drive home on a closed weekend all alone listening to country. Do you ever wonder why your mind chooses your most vivid memories? I want to drive to Dallas at midnight with Jeff. I want to cuddle up in my orange t-shirt material sheets and scooby doo comforter and explain to Rachel once again why my bed is the best bed in the entire world. I want to be in awe of Jenny, flustered by Jeff, attempt to understand Hadley, and be hugged by Vilbig. I want to be suspiciously eyed by every RA, and awkwardly sit through a wing meeting, totally positive that everyone is staring at me. I want to go back to Valentine's Day last year, with my car in front of McConnell stock full of people on top of my scooby doo comforter, drive to Dallas, play in the snow with Devon's drunk friends, and study for a physics test.

It's the most depressing thing I've ever heard. She is unhappy and there is nothing I can do about it. I will tell anyone that asks, I surround myself with cool people and I don't put up with shit. Erin is like me so much and she is one of the coolest people I know. I don't know how she is making it in the Air Force Academy. And since Erin had this on her journal and I told her I would put it on mine, here is a nice little survey with my comments for my sister. Feel free to comment on me. Got enough to read now, Frnak??

1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. D.J. - Devon Junior, from camp.
2. Am I loveable? Yes.
3. How long have you known me? I remember the day Lynn brought you home.
4. When and how did we first meet? Well, you were born...
5. What was your first impression? You were in a Christmas stocking, because they brought you home on Christmas day, I thought you were small.
6. Do you still think that way about me now? No, you're much taller now.
7. What do you think my weakness is? Arguing with people.
8. Do you think I'll get married? Yeah.
9. What makes me happy? Your friends, your jersey sheets and a bath.
10. What makes me sad? Conflict, lack of communication, and i forget the third one.
11. What reminds you of me? the color orange, scooby doo, and camp, especially that time we went canoeing...
12. If you could give me anything what would it be? happiness
13. How well do you know me? soooo well.
14. When's the last time you saw me? Parents' weekend.
15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? No.
16. Do you think I could kill someone? you do have a large gun in your room...
17. Describe me in one word. brilliant.
18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger, weaker, or staying the same? stronger
19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen? yep.
20. Are you going to put this on your online journal and see what I say about you? done.