Second Day as a Sub

I went to sleep a little earlier than the night before, hoping to catch up on some much needed sleep and to be bright eyed and bushy tailed for the fourth graders! I was probably out by 2:00am. Boo. But I woke up at 5:00am, after reciting my bedtime prayers: please let me wake up on time, please let me wake up on time, please let me wake up on time! It totally works. My prayers were answered and I was out of the condo by 6:30am. So dark! I made it to that new school over in Ft Worth by 7:30am. It is really nice!! So fancy in it's newness, I was delighted. This school was welcoming, but I did not get a map like at the other school, so I was lost several times. The fourth graders were awesome. Some people may think that the word awesome is over used, but it is not! The kids were awesome. The teachers must be amazing, because I didn't have a problem with any of them. Some tried my patience and were not ideal, but what kid doesn't have its moments? Exactly. Everyone was so nice and I even saw two kids from camp! It was fun to talk to them. They remembered how much their counselor snored. Heh! I got to go outside for recess and I was finished by 3:15pm. Such a good day ... I hope every day can be as fun as that one.

And now Friday evening.
Drive back to Dallas, check.
Change into pajamas, check.
Watch a lot of unnecessary television, check.
Fall asleep with Jerry Springer on, without brushing teeth or washing face, check.
Lovely.

Girls' Night

Every Thursday for the last year or so, I have been getting together with Jacque, and Lydia, and now Kristen, since she has returned from the frozen tundra with her husband and son, Aiden. Sometimes, alumni band has been canceled, and sometimes I just skip it, because Girls' Night is just better! Jacque called and said we would meet at her house at 6:00pm. I looked at the clock at Lynn's house and it said 5:45pm, so I thought I better get my crap together and go, so I wouldn't be late - I'm working so hard on not being late nowadays. I got in the car and left the neighborhood, before I realized Lynn's clock was set 15 minutes fast and I was going to be ridiculously early for Jacque's. Nothing is more inconsiderate, in my eyes, than showing up for a social gathering early. What is it, a job interview? No! However, when I called, Jacque was gracious enough to allow me to arrive early and even offered left over Halloween candy while we waited for the others to show. Kristen showed up with the kid, who is always amusing, because there was some confusion with the grandparents' babysitting. We went to Cotton Patch Cafe (for the first time) and I got the meatloaf. And because meatloaf contains red meat, yes I know, I was unwell the rest of the evening. But it tasted so good. I was constantly staring at my cell phone during dinner because I was expecting a call from the subfinder for a Friday job. The phone rang once and then went to voicemail for some reason and the rest of the evening I spent constantly checking to see if they were calling me back. We went back to Jacque's for the "Ugly Betty" and the "Grey's Anatomy". Mediocre, but I am loyal nonetheless. Eventually the glorious subfinder called back and I got a job for Friday at the newer school over in Ft Worth with 4th graders! Huzzah! But then that guy that I know that only talks to me when I ignore him texted me about not being at alumni band. Frick that. Girls' Night RULZ!

First Day as a Substitute Teacher

Technically, my first day as a career substitute was Wednesday, but I couldn't find any jobs online and I forgot to tell the office that my number was long distance, so I didn't get a call to sub on Wednesday. That's okay, I had stuff to do anyways... I was freaking out so I spent all day Wednesday afternoon checking the job availability. Every five minutes. Then, I saw it. A job opening! But someone else was looking at it. What did that mean? What was going on? What a world, what a world. As a certified teacher, I am at the top of the list to get a substitute job. Why could I not sign up for this gig? Then I heard my phone ring! It was the subfinder, calling about that very job I had been gunning for, for the last 35 minutes. Victory was mine. I had a job lined up for the next day, I would be making money!!!! A positive cash flow at last.

Then I spent the rest of the evening preparing for my first day in a classroom all by my self in a looooong time. I looked at the school website, the district handouts, my age appropriate books...I would be in a first grade class, yikes, and would need to be prepared for the worst. I spent from 9:30pm to 2:30am thinking, I have to go to sleep. I have to wake up at 5:30am. I have to go to sleep. I have to wake up at 5:30am. It was a long night. But I did wake up at 5:30am. And I was early for work. The secretary hadn't even shown up yet. And the worst did not happen. The teacher was prepared, the kids knew what was up, I made one child cry and another got in big trouble for cussing at the teacher next door. Other than that, it was fine.

I went to Lynn's after work and started working on the invitations that she is paying me to address. I did a lot of prep work, hoping that I would not disappoint her. We will find out. Going to Jacque's later for Girls' Night!!!

I Should Explain

I stopped posting because my mother kept reading my blogs and leaving annoying messages. It is unclear if she has subscribed to this blog or not. Granted, I could block her, but then she would explain to me, in person, that she can't make comments anymore ... and nobody wants that. Thus, if she comments to this post, we will know won't we - all two of you that happen upon this blog.

Erin, sister, are you still out there? I miss you.

Went bridesmaid dress shopping on Saturday. I will be wearing green and there will probably be major ruching involved. The wedding is in April, I will totally post pictures. I'm not afraid. Or too embarrassed. Brave words considering we haven't decided on a dress yet...

I have decided now that while I don't have a full time job, I should be doing more with my time. Up until today, I have worked sporadically, browsed InStyle.com, People.com, and updated myself on every amusing tv show that deigns to put its episodes on-line. No! That does not include "Passions". Stop it! I will now try to read all those books I purchased in college, but never read, blog about interesting (read: whatever amuses me at the time, but will probably amuse no one else) things, and stop applying for Administrative Assistant jobs, because I'm terrified I will never be paid to teach. A-boo.

Jason's birthday is quickly approaching, I can't decide if I should try to make him several pies from scratch or buy him flavored, well, let's call it old cereal in a bottle. Thoughts?

Summer's Over

So, I haven't found a real job yet, so I'm just going to chill and eventually find my way. Yikes, so scary. But all will be well, I'm sure of it.

So, for me ... when it rains, it pours. Just so you know.

Things I've Accomplished Today...

• C-ed my exam this morning, because I know I didn't Ace it. Skipped the Academy Awards to study, but totally not worth it. Don't think that I actually learned anything new yesterday.
• Called my boss's insurance company to determine how to file a claim for his psychotherapy session.
• Called Storehouse Customer Service to get my boss's keyboard pull-out fixed on his desk. They transferred me around until I started talking to this woman and while I was explaining what was broken, the damn thing fell out of the desk and I screamed like a little girl, because it mangled my manicure. Stupid desk. I had to apologize for screaming into the phone and we moved on. Do you think she will pity me and send a replacement part free of charge?
• Called printing company to cancel order of brochures, because I forgot to add a comma before I uploaded the files to their website. Stupid punctuation. After the guy figured out what he was doing he said that someone else would have to delete the order, then asked if I needed any help. I asked a simple question, he answered it. Then we both waited awkwardly for a good minute and a half for the other person to say something. Finally he broke the silence with, "So are you going to place your order?" And I said, "No, I think I can handle that on my own." Awkward silence. "So, thank you for your help, has the order been deleted or what?" Shudder. It's like I use a totally different, underdeveloped, part of my brain when talking on the phone.
• Called Ft. Worth zoning and platting desks to beg for information about how to purchase these kinds of maps. Left inaudible messages, hopefully phone number was clear enough so that the people will call my boss back and he can talk to them.

In conclusion, very little headway has been made in regard to my phone etiquette since my freshman year of college. The phone and I are still not friends. But at least now I can order pizza all by myself. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a manicure in my near future.

So my mother called me

at like 7:30pm last week. She asked if I could go to Bed, Bath, & Beyond to help her pick out some stuff for the house. Note: she didn't ask if I wanted to go, she asked if I "could". I was just watching tv, so I said yes. On the way over there we were talking about someone's name. This conversation led to her saying "I hate the name Lynn. I really don't care for Devon. I really should have thought about your name more carefully. Your grandmother liked it. Feel free to change it if you want to." Oh, thanks.

I shit you not.



Well, once we arrived, we picked out some bedding for the master bedroom. On the way home I told her I wanted all white bedding that would allow me to put my two twin beds together to form one ginormous bed that takes up my entire room. So she said I could have her old bedding. Sweet! So now I have fancy, soft, white bedding and a ginormous bed that takes up my entire room. Lynn walks up stairs after it's all set up and she goes, "I always thought you had more room in here." Ha ... ha ... haha. No, this is why there is crap everywhere. No room. I had way more room when I lived in the dorms. It's ironic isn't it. Dorms feel like crap until you realize the little things like space and two kinds of keys to enter are so verrrrry important.

Repeat after me, It's Thursday!

All day today I would get really excited and then really panic - y that today was Friday. Yay the weekend, wait I have nothing planned. No work! Nothing to do. There's been no food in the house and I actually went to Taco Bell, ahhhh, for the first time in several weeks and the worst part of my day ... gave me Dr. Pepper instead of Pepsi. That's just cruel! It's still here if you want it, sweating on Sean's desk. Let me know.

Last night I was settling in to watch Veronica Mars after a very exciting American Idol spotting. Congrats RICKEY!! Good luck in Hollywood!! Woot!! Even Simon said something nice about him.

Anyway, I was about ten minutes into Veronica Mars when Lynn called to tell me that she couldn't find her car keys. She had left campus to run some errand and had her keys when she got back around 4:30pm, but now she has no idea where they are - so we retraced her steps all through Carr-Collins and the Dean's Suite. We searched up and down the law quad, hassled several people on the custodial staff and whoever each of them called on their cell phones to translate (because I never learned how to speak Spanish!!). We looked on the floor, in every possible lost and found place, she is sure that she dropped them or kicked something when she was in the bathroom, maybe they are in there. Nothing. We try to look in the car, but it is very dark, so we look around the car and under the car. Here, there, and everywhere. But finally Lynn called SMUPD and asked if anyone had returned any keys ... no.

So, we had a pleasant drive back to Bedford. Once we got there Lynn found her spare keys, we chatted about what she was doing to fix up the house and how much they need to fix before they try to put it on the market. Note to self: pick up all personal items before Lynn and Steve throw them away. Then we drove back to SMU and Lynn unlocked the door and there they were, her keys in the cup holder of her car. Then she drove home, I drove back to the condo and we all lived happily ever after.

And then I updated my profile on MySpace. Geesh!

Internet...Drool...

Have become increasingly obsessed with the internet again. I don't know what it is. I didn't used to be like this. After the first flush of being on my own at college and doing whatever I wanted, I stopped spending day and night on my computer. There were other things to do! I was one of those people that turned on the computer, signed on to AIM, put up and away message, and then walked away!

I don't really know why I did that either...

Have lost my link to the real world in favor of online shopping. Spent 1 hr looking at Tiffany website. Can't afford gifts there. Never thought I'd actually get married, but still have decided on the Tiffany Setting engagement ring and the Tiffany Wedding Band. In case you all were wondering. Saw wedding episode of Sex in the City last night ... have come to the conclusion that all wedding gifts should be from Tiffany & Co. Even if all my college friends must go in together, {I want a $5,000 sterling silver cocktail shaker and $75 sterling silver muddler, darn it!!}** I don't actually know what a muddler is, because I am writing this blog instead of looking it up on Encarta.com, the source of all my knowledge. (It looks like a long stick, like something you stir drinks with. Vodka martini, shaken not muddled.) I was looking at this bracelet with one of those hearts and it said TACO. Taco? Why would they engrave TACO on a Tiffany & Co. ... wait. Never mind. My poor eyes. T & CO. I do have my glasses on.

Anyway, I used to talk to people every once in a while on AIM while sort of listening to people on the phone, while downloading and listening to music (all legally of course, because, after all, this is a family show!). After talking about the future CITs that will be coming to camp this summer, we have decided we need to help the young people communicate. They rely on the safety delay of AIM and ...


... email. Sorry for that pause, I had to go check on my soup. No, I'm not doing other things while I supposed to be writing this. I really don't multi-task. No, I'm not going to talk to you in person with unedited, instant feedback. That spells DOOM. Kids can't just talk to people. What's that about? The young people are so easily distracted...

"Hey, how's it going?"
"Oh, look! Something shiny!"

Who am I kidding, I do that too. I'm like a small child.

Side Bar: I am way excited about the plan for Jason and me to go to the Nasher Sculpture Center this weekend. I have only been trying to go there ever since it opened ... and when I read in Vanity Fair that Dominic Dunne was there for a dinner thing. Hot times in the old town tonight!!

Who am I kidding with the side bar, my entire blog is a tribute to my random train of thought.

I joined MySpace last night.
Don't know why.
Help me.
I refuse to find friends on that thing, though. {Because that would be weird}**

I'm watching Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars tonight! I hope the commercials don't disappoint me. I have just discovered why the WB and UPN are merging. Both networks refuse to show the State of the Union. Bless them.

**Busting out new 2006 sarcasm tags

Email

So for the past three work days I have been looking up real estate agents and typing their names, phone numbers, and email addresses into an excel spreadsheet so my boss can harrass them. Well, not really harrass...they will bullshit and talk to each other in the attempt to network and make money on other people's real estate. But I have been noticing how important your email address is. If you are a professional person offering a service, an email address really says a lot about you. But if you have to wrong one, like runninggirl4th@aol.com, this could put people off buying a house from you. Get a real address you hippy! However, bestrealtorever@hotmail.com is an email address that is probably saying too much about you, and lying! In light of this mind-numbing work I have decided to segue into a search for my new email address. I have read, of other people's writings on email addresses, that mine is lame for several different reasons. A) it takes advantage of a junior high nickname: devo; B) it includes my birthdate: 82; AND C) the graduation date: 00. Not to mention that I've got a hotmail account, which my mother used to think was some dirty website for homosexual men. Good Lord! I forgot all about that. Anyway... since there are rules, some which are standard and some which I have come up with on my own, I will list them in an effort to get other people to think of a cool email address for me.

Rules:
1) no profanity! I will use this for my resume and most likely small children will email me at it.
2) no numbers. I don't want my address to be dbm9476@charter.net. That's crap.
3) must have between 5 and 9 characters. Why? because the average person can remember 7 plus or minus 2 characters and I want my email address to be in the back of everybody's mind.
4) no pop culture references. I don't want some slang term or somebody's favorite band. Brit4EVR@loser.com will not fly kids. For sooo many reasons.

I can't think of any more right now, but when one of you sends me a suggestion and it is wrong for some reason, then I can add more. Please feel free to email me. Have a super day!

Up next: My AIM name.

No Really

I think I had one of the most bizarre weekends of my adult life. I can't talk about it yet, and I'm only mentioning it here, because I know nobody reads this ... but I have to tell somebody! Someone told me a secret! It's driving me crazy. I know I'll tell one person by the end of the day, but I can't tell Jacque yet - which is killing me. And I have to have lunch with her today... Anyway... I may never party again, because I made bad choices Saturday night and I paid for it Sunday. I slept all day! Yeesh.

Ummm...

so.

yeah.

I think I'm going to camp this summer. I know, I know. Leave me alone. But don't worry. I'll be home on weekends. I get between 20 and 40 hours off. Minus 8 for sleeping, 4 hrs traveling time ... so technically I have between 8 and 28 hours to do whatever I want ... after I do my laundry and get some serious shower time. But I can hang out with anybody that will be seen with a sun-burnt, burnt-out 23 year old camp counselor. Which usually means Jason and Jacque, but I do make exceptions people! If you're in Dallas during the weekends - hey, hey - give me a call.

I hope everybody has had good luck on their finals. I still have two tomorrow and then I will be done. I can't wait. Saturday night...trashed. I don't plan on driving. Cause I'll be making bad choices! Am considering going to the Monica bash and just wondering around with a bottle of something red. It tastes good, it's only $10 and I'll be gone in an hour. That stuff will seriously get you every time. Mmm...you don't have those kinds of odds at a bar, my friend. I can't wait.

And I'll be seeing Ann tomorrow! Oh Ann, how I miss you. Only 22 hours my friend.

Everybody have a good weekend. And if you don't remember to look at my blog for the next three months, have a great summer - I know I will.

Today I ate a bowl of cereal with marshmallows in it today ... for the first time ever. That was an experience. This week will never end.

Seriously

I can't even explain how the end of this semester is killing me. I feel dead inside. After Saturday, things will be better, because then all I will have is work ever day and 4 really hard finals. But that is seriously nothing compared to the last month I have had. I have lost the will to blog. I'm never going to be able to require small children to write everyday. I don't think I'm even going to teach children to write. They must learn it on their own, through independent study of the baby-sitters club books that I will assign every day. You know at the beginning of each chapter there is a usually a sample of one of the baby-sitter's writing. Computer generated girly handwriting...that is how they will learn.

Fantastic Grilling Extravaganza!

So on Monday I didn't want to do my English reading and I also didn't want to work on any of the 4 papers/projects I have due soon, so I called Jacque to hang out. We went to Mi Cocina in Highland Park Village. It's fun because I am amused by watching neauvue riche in their semi-natural habitat. Then we went back to the condo, because Jacque felt that we haven't been giving the condo enough attention since she moved to Dallas. Which is true. I need to have some parties soon.

Newsflash: I have two finals on the last final day, saturday, May 7th, so that evening after I sell all my books, I will be having a big blowout, so all four of you that read this kick-butt blog are invited to the condo. I will have fun beverages and mixers, but no gross inappropriate beverages. And by gross inappropriate beverages, I am referring to ALL inappropriate beverages, so you'll have to bring your own. That is all.

So then Jacque decides that she wants to buy a grill. So after a few home improvement websites we head over to Home Depot to get what looks like a kick-ass grill - hey it's on sale! When we get there we quickly realize that the grill we are looking for is not on the floor in the general area we are staring at, so we ask one of the delightful Home Depot employees for help. He was tall, blonde, had sort of a Zach Morris hair cut with so much gell his hair was almost white. He had an earring in his left ear and a pink polo shirt. I imagined that he was mocked by his co-workers, but I saw no evidence of this, unfortunately. He showed us some comparable grills, Jacque wants a gas one, and she decides on the one in the box on the very top shelf. So our helpful HD employee goes off to find some way to get it down. I am counting the minutes for heavy machinery. But he never returns. So we sit down and wait in the lawn furniture section. I lied, because eventually he returned with little friends and heavy machinery! Whoopie! They got the grill down with large beeping noises and another guy carries the big box over to the check-out counter. In the mean time, Jacque and I are discussing how we will get this large box back to her apartment. Jacque is sure that it will fit in the backseat, but I am sure that it will not. In fact I doubt it will fit in my impressively large trunk. So the guy carries the box to the car and ... I'm right, I'm right, I'm always right. Well, that's the song I sang in my head while the guy had to tie Jacque's grill to the back of my car. Jacque is now disillusioned with my car, but I don't care. I love you my little white Camry that doesn't smell like diesel fuel and starts no matter what the weather and has remote keyless entry and automatic locks. I love you.

That sounds like a great ending to a blog entry, but that is not the end of my tale.

Saturday Jacque and I struggled over the vegtable section trying to figure out what to grill and stared at the seasoning aisle until we called Austen and Mike who told us that they were just using salt and pepper and that we shouldn't ruin the steaks with other crap. But then Mike added that he marinated the steaks in mayonnaise. haha. Because Jacque hates mayonnaise. And she was sincerely upset ... because Jacque is gullible. But they didn't, of course, because that would truly be gross. With our mad grilling skillz, we created excellent food, the steaks were a little over cooked for the guys' taste, but just fine for me, cause I can't handle the blood or the pink...I realize that that's not how you are supposed to cook a filet, but I don't care. I prefer my red meat burnt to a crisp. It's just the way I am. The evening was spent watching tv and, for me at least, watching Austen and Mike tease Jacque to no end and threatening to leave inappropriate messages for her neighbors.

Heh.

Ahem.

Anyway, eventually I began to fall asleep and left Jacque's around 1amish...I'm not sure, I was so tired. P.S. We had some really great wine, and then I helped myself to Jacque's inappropriate beverages and coke offerings. Haven't had a that since, like, sophomore year. Wow! It took me back. I remember the time when I couldn't drink a coke near the band without smelling phantom inappropriate beverages.

Leave me alone.

I don't want to scare you, but...

If you know me well, then you know that I am not a neat freak. I like to leave my clothes where they fall and storing them in the dryer is just as good as hanging them in my closet.

But recently...I've developed these new, strange habits.

As of right now, this very second, all but yesterday's outfit and last night's pajamas are washed and hanging in the closet...on hangers...organized by color. Whites, pinks, reds, blues, greys, blacks. That's all of them. I know. Also...the dirty dishes, are in the dishwasher...and the clean ones...they are in the cupboard.

You must be freaked out, because I am freaked out. I can't handle it, it's too much.

My dresser drawers are organized into sleep shirts, sleep pants, camp shirts and camp shorts. The camp clothes that I am only allowed to wear at camp or when doing something rather outdoorsy, not in polite company - because they are all from high school and are probably covered in paint, because I have a tendency to get into paint wars with people. I'm not sure why...

All of my accessories are hung up in the closet, in the accessories drawer or hung up in the fabulous jewelry box Jacque got me for Christmas.

I have washed my sheets recently as well...and I plan to wash them again on Saturday. I just have the urge.

One day, you will walk into my bedroom and it will be organized, neat, tidy, and clean. Now my room was clean for about a week in December 2003...but not since then. We'll see.

Updates: Erin made contact with our estranged cousin. The "how much does a polar bear weigh" conversation starter was a success. Victory!

My new favorite foods are Greek salads and California rolls (with lots of soy sauce) from Central Market. Although the California rolls thing might be from my love of using chopsticks. Anyway, I just can't get enough.

Erin has decided to eat snacks that are of the same color...like when she had easy mac and orange soda...

Mardi Gras rules and I have never had so much fun on a Tuesday night. In Dallas. With Jacque and Max. Good times. Next year, Galveston.

I miss Ann.

That is all.

Super Bowl Sunday

I worked on my Great Gatsby paper at Jacque's.
There were pizza and wings and pie and cookies involved. Oh and somebody won a football game.
We watched the Simpsons afterward.
Then Jacque and I watched "Stepmom" until midnight.
It was a good day.
Oh, go Patriots. Because the Eagles fans suck - or so I'm told.

Cheddars

So Monday I did absolutely nothing, but I didn't have enough time to do it in. I had tons of library books due and video rentals due and I drove to Dallas that afternoon with every intention of turning them in and heading back to Bedford to have dinner with Jacque, Austen, and some friends from high school that I hadn't seen in a while. I called Sean ahead of time to get me directions to the Dallas Public Library so that I could get there as quickly as possible. Sean took forever, finally gave me the directions and I was on my way. But I was already running late. I dropped off the books at SMU and followed the directions to DPL. They are different from the ones I got the website. Sean had mapquested it, like I told him not to. Excellent. So I wonder around the arts district completely lost and I have exactly 25 minutes to drive the 35 minutes it takes to meet my friends. So after I passed by those two homeless people in bright yellow jackets for the fourth time, I gave up and drove back to Bedford. I was angry and late, so I hauled ass, going about 90mph the whole way. I arrived at Cheddars about 5 minutes before everybody else did. Woohoo!

At dinner Brian and Sachin were being {really awesome}* and Austen seemed to love having his friends with him - he joined right in. I can't stand Sachin, the way he speaks, his opinions, and the way he behaves. Jacque told me that he was much better recently, but not tonight. Sachin and Brian devised a skit to be jerks to the waitress because as Sachin said, she took his drink order last because he was "brown". It involved Sachin speaking unintelligibly and Brian "translating" his order. This evolved to Sachin just saying "shiiit" and Brian giving the woman his food order. I, of course, insisted on ordering first and leaving the table, because as you know, I can't stand stupid people or the way they behave stupidly in public. That's just dumb. Like the nerd in "Never Been Kissed". You have to know your place. Don't recite poetry to the most popular boy in school when you were already being made fun of in the first place. That's just plain STUPID! It was a miserable dinner that resulted in the boys discussing their "hoes" and how well their "pimp business" is doing. I just wanted to shoot myself. Different area codes and each other's turf ... the amount of verbal diarrhea that came out of their mouths was astounding.

Lesson learned: I should have stayed in Dallas and returned the books and videos and avoided the late fees, thus avoiding a night of unnecessary discomfort. The end.

*sarcasm