Excuse me, your neurosis is showing.

If you don't want to read about me indulging, then stop here.

For the most part I try to appear non-shallow, non-self-absorbed, utterly normal, but with an abnormally gifted insight into the feelings of others. Because I am a psychology major! Ha, but sometimes, I'm a little crazy. I am often reminded, that even though I don't spend a week analyzing one sentence from my conversation with a boy, to see if there is hidden meaning - that I am infact an insecure girl. Yikes! It shocks me every time, when the hidden ridiculousness that I try ever so hard to supress spews forth like lava. And I act like a girl when the boy I like talks to me. It's ridiculous. I used to think that the fact that I am aware of the depths to which my "ridiculous" goes is good because I am in tune with the inner me, but in actuality it's self-indulgent thinking. Sean says that people that are completely normal in everyday life try to be deep and philosophical in their blogs. I tried to say that perhaps not everyone can be shallow all the time like he is and they are using their blog as an outlet. I don't think I succeeded in convincing him or myself.

I talked to Austen and Jacque about how I ridiculous I was in high school and my facebook dilemma and Austen said that I should accept the friend invite, because "James is cool." We'll see. I rehashed this story about how my friends and I were sitting at a lunch table sophomore year and I had brought tuna fish to school. I mixed the stupid package of relish and mayonnaise with the tiny can of tuna. Then I spread a little on each wheat cracker that came in the box. After ward I put the can in the brown paper bag that I brought my lunch to school in. About 15 minutes before lunch was over, our half of the table had noticed that the bag had REALLY begun to smell. Like tuna fish, obviously. James and his friends were at the other side of the long cafeteria table. At this point James looked over with the weirdest expression on his face, sniffed the air a few times and goes "Ewww, what's that smell?" We found this to be the funniest thing in the world and we burst out laughing. That's the only memory I have of James, although he might have played clarinet in seventh grade, but I don't remember for sure. At this point Austen reminded me that he was in fact, sitting with James at this table and I realized as I often do, how much things change. I barely new Austen in 10th grade, even though I had gone to school with him for 3 years, been in band with him, and was friends with some of his friends. Austen said that his friends used to make fun of Lydia, because she was so loud. He said that they would talk about us. Jacque and I immediately wanted to know what they said about us. Who cares? It was seven years ago and it was the opinions of people that didn't even know us. We are such girls.

Remembering how things were before the fact, was weird. Isn't it hard to remember a time when you knew your close friends, but you weren't friends with them yet? Well, it's hard for me. I don't remember how I met Jacque. Or Jason. Or Lydia. Or Jennifer. I can't remember thinking about them any other way than as one of my dearest friends. Some people that I don't like so much, I remember when they used to not bother me. When their sheer presence in the room didn't offend me. When their voices didn't annoy me more than nails on a chalk board. Having those kinds of reactions to people is a waste of energy and I sincerely wish I didn't feel that way about people. I try hard to keep in mind the time when I didn't care where these people were in the room or what they were doing. I have had many of my friends tell me that they automatically loved me or hated me when they first met me. The people that loved me still do and the people that hated me realized that we actually fit perfectly together to form our little group. I wanted to know instantly why these people didn't like me at first and what made them change their mind? But when someone wants to know why I don't like them, I see them as shallow and tell them that not everybody has to like you! Double Standard!!! See how I keep bringing the subject back to me over and over again. Soooo self-absorbed.

I need to stop writing. I realize that one day I will get over myself completely, but it won't come soon enough.

No, thank YOU!

This Thanksgiving was nice. There were only 4 arguments between Wednesday and Sunday. I was only involved in two of them, but I started neither. We were all trying to be super nice, since Erin was home from the academy. We were supposed to have a mini-Thanksgiving of sorts Wednesday night so Erin could have the sweet potato casserole that my mother makes, but instead we went to the Olive Garden for lunch and Lynn and Sean and Erin went shopping while Steve and I went to Dallas, him to work, me to the condo to do some homework. Then instead of dinner, Erin and Sean went to a movie, while Steve and I worked until 9:00pm. It's almost like we're a real family.

But we made it to Bedford in time to watch "Holiday Inn" and eat bad pumpkin pie. Eww. If you haven't seen this movie, I highly recommend it. Bing Crosby, Fred Astaire, two random women and just enough cheese to make it enjoyable. Three cheers for fake snow and black-face. I have loved this movie since I was little. And it was a major plus, because Lynn had initially wanted to watch "A Christmas Story" which is too embarrassing for words. Stupid little kid. He'll shoot his eye out!

Anyway, overslept Thursday morning and we barely made it to Thanksgiving lunch at some restaurant (that used to be the Adam's Mark, but isn't now) in Tulsa. Brian Wright came with, after having a quick Thanksgiving breakfast with his parents. It's like I have two brothers. I saw"Tthe Incredibles" for the second time and we watched as many movies as we could fit into the day, because Erin doesn't get out much and she had to catch up. I got to pick out one of my Christmas presents from my mother, a hot red weekend bag from Bath and Body Works. Can we say excitement? OH, I can.

Big excitement of the weekend, Lynn was walking through the theater when I noticed a large napkin stuck to the bottom of her shoe - this sent the whole family including Gran-Jan, into fits of laughter. Then the next morning when we were out at breakfast, Gran-Jan was heading to the bathroom and Lynn noticed a small needle on her butt. That's pretty much it.

I actually went out with my whole family on a Friday night and didn't give a damn who saw me. It made things easier because we were in Tulsa. When I was in high school, I really wouldn't have been caught dead with them. Even in Tulsa. I have found hidden depths. Am perhaps slowly becoming mature. But have also discovered incredible urge to start a food fight somewhere. Look out!

When we got back to Bedford on Saturday afternoon we went to Spring Creek BBQ so Erin could eat their freshly baked rolls. Then we went to Don Pablos for dinner and I saw "The Incredibles" for the third time. I don't know, it just happened that way. Jacque, Ann, and Austen came along. The waiter spilled coke on poor Ann, so we didn't tip him. He didn't offer to comp anything, no dessert, no free meal. Poor Ann. She probably should have sulked more; like Sean did when the waiter spilled avocado all over him at Chili's. Perhaps it was the area, Don Pablos of Grapevine doesn't have as much class as the Chili's on Knox. Or is it McKinney. Whatever. Jerks.

We played "Shout About Movies!" until 2:30am. It was good times, but I hate when people get competitive, it really freaks me out. Especially when Erin called me a bitch and told me to hand over the remote. Is that entirely necessary? Freaking military - wait, I can't blame the Air Force, the bitch comment was all Erin. Jacque, Austen and I lost miserably in the first two rounds, but we owned in the last one. We were beating them by sooo much, that even if they bet the maximum, which is to say doubling their score - a la Jeopardy - they still wouldn't be able to win. Muahhahaha. Excellent.

I have so much homework. Erin left today and Sean and I returned to Dallas. I miss her already. I have so much homework. Wait, I already said that. But I would rather write a blog entry. I would like to think that nobody reads this, but I know that at least two people will get sooooo bored this week that they will check for an update. Never the less I will drop a little ramble in here, just so I don't have to think about it anymore.

Monologue has been deleted after further contemplation. Will now step down off soap box and return to homework.

Hope my three loyal fans had a happy Thanksgiving, and I'm glad Frank had fun in Mexico. With someone else's family. Whatever.

Facebook

I became concerned with "thefacebook" when people started talking about it during their real lives. Like AIM before, it is like a national (international?) network, where all you have to do is sign up. While specifically linking students, I find it to be more of an electronic junior high, perhaps high school, yearbook. Everybody desperately wants to belong to a group, sometimes forming their own just for the sake of it - ahem, you know who you are! - and desperately trying to prove to everyone else that they have friends. When I signed on I wasn't too worried about it; I'll join the band, because I'm doing basketball season darnit! and I'll ask Sean and Frank to be my friends and that'll be a day. I will have joined the darn facebook. Then I get invites from all these people! Good people mind you, but lots. I think wow, these people want me to be their facebook friend!! I haven't spoken to so-an-so in 6 months, but fine. Yay! Friends! After I confirm, I look at these people's friends and EVERYBODY else has more friends than me. So, not as many invites as I thought. Now I want 63 friends! Bah. It's too much work.

Then I have to get a picture and create a profile, not that I don't mind doing it again, for the tenth time; had to have one for classmates.com, one for this darn blog, and now facebook - it's hard enough keeping my profile on AIM current. But after a while I get it - facebook is the worldwideweb version of notches on a bedpost or signatures in a yearbook. The people that have invited me to be their friends and I have confirmed don't say anything, don't write on the wall, we don't use it as any form of communication. I poked Sean just to see what would happen - I chose Sean because some people will take that the wrong way if I "poke" them. Dirty! But then I get this random invite from someone I don't think I know. If I do, she sure wasn't important enough for me to remember. She lived near me, but goes to Texas Tech now. I don't know. I don't want to confirm that we are friends when I don't remember her, but I don't want to be rude on facebook. But she's one person closer to 105 friends. I thought, I just won't do anything and today she still sits, in that box, waiting to be confirmed or denied. I thought, well that's dealt with. In my passive aggressive kind of way.

Weeelll, then I get another invite from this guy from my high school. I might have talked to him once in junior high, but I don't really know for sure. Wait, he goes to Tech too! Now, I'm just getting weirded out. I look at his profile and find that he only has 4 friends listed. This random girl isn't one of them, they haven't been talking about a fiendish plot to get me to confirm two people that I don't know. His situation, that's just sad. He's been a member since October and I have only been a member since the beginning of November. I have more friends! Though, I feel bad for judging. But still, why the invite? And yet, it's not that big of a deal, it's just another signature to fill up the blank pages right of my empty shell of an internet life? I have low karma points on "moviequotes.com" and on "monster.com"; I have to make up for that somewhere. But maybe he just sent one out to everybody in our graduating class, wouldn't that be awkward? For me to be the only one that confirmed. So I searched everybody that graduated from Trinity High School, that's right, all 120 of them, and James and I are the ONLY ONES that graduated in the year 2000. One person is a grad student from '98, but everybody else is younger. Sean's friends, Brian's friends, Erin's friends. But no friends of Devon. That just makes me feel old. Could everyone that graduated in 2000 from Trinity have graduated from college in four years? Did they all graduate on time (save two - me and James)? Or perhaps we are the only two that are with it and down with what the kids are into. Maybe we're the only fifth-years that have computers. Or more likely, we are the only two fifth-years that were nerded into signing up for facebook.

Happy Thanksgiving break everybody!

This really could be written by me...

...if I wrote poetry, that is.

Really neat people
Tend to make me a little nervous.
I don't feel inferior around them-
Just uneasy.

Who wants or needs:
Every sock folded,
Every knife in the butcher block,
Every towel on the rack,
Every item tucked neatly into place,
Every single time-
No, and I mean no exceptions?

Because now and then:
The sock needs an adventure,
The knife longs to mingle,
The towel is desperate
For some down time
And our underwear needs to salsa,
With the towel
On the bathroom floor.

So you see-
I'm not really messy,
Just flexible and understanding.

-The Birdbath Poet

And it rained...

This weekend was so long...it was nice. I went with Jacque, Austen, and Kim to see "Bridget Jones 2". Yes, Austen thought he could convince us to see that Pierce Brosnan movie instead, but we could not be persuaded. I wanted Jason to come, but he decided he would rather watch season 1 of the O.C. with Frank and drink. Whatever! We went to a late movie even though I knew I had to be in Granbury by 8:30am!! I worked all day Friday and I deserved a late movie, right? So we got out of our movie and pulled up behind Jason on his way to deliver Frank back to the dorms and Kim was like "jump out and bang on the windows!" I was all, "yeah!!" But then the light turned green. We followed them to Mockingbird and Jacque started flashing her brights. We were again tempted to jump out of the car at the stop light, but timing and my wussy disposition forced us to wait until they stopped on the Boulevard. Then we jumped out and scared them. Jason and Frank wouldn't unlock the doors. Haha, we scared them good! Well, not so much, but we all had to get home so we got back in the car and went back to the condo.

I woke up at 6:30am on Saturday so that I could leave by 7:00am so I could be at camp by the butt-crack of early. I chatted with the camp host and got some hot chocolate, but my cohort in canoeing, the tall missionary student from Mississippi, had not arrived. So I went up to the canoe shed and started throwing lifejackets and paddles out of the shed, have I mentioned that the 4X6 shed also houses the 6 kayaks? It's fun, anyway, so just as I throw out the last paddle, homefry drives up in his truck. Then we start loading things in the bed of his truck and this dad comes up and is all, the set-up crew is ready and waiting for ya. Set-up crew? YES!!! What that means, children, is that Devon and Shane don't have to take down the heavy, heavy canoes. So there are some people that canoe for 45 minutes. Then I'm by myself, because Shane went to get his kayak and find a bathroom. Then the bell by the main lodge starts ringing. It's been ringing for about 15 minutes before Shane comes back and it continues to ring for another 20 minutes. No, this isn't annoying. It's also not unsettling, because at camp, a constantly ringing bell means, tornado or lost child. So I'm definitely not freaking out. Well, nobody is canoeing, so I make Shane drive us down to main lodge to see what the heck was going on. Heck, not hell, because he's a missionary student, after all. We get there and Shane's guess is correct, it is definitely 20 small children standing in line waiting to ring the bell, one after another. For the love...

But we go back up to the canoe docks and Shane decides it is a good idea to build a fire. I second that because it's freaking cold. So without a good poking stick, I start dropping wood on the fire. I lean over and a flame shoots up and burns the front part of my hair. I'm a little pissed. I take moment to mourn, but I put my hair in a ponytail and try to move on. We get the fire going pretty good, and then it rained. And it rained some more. And at 3:45pm the tear down crew came down. Victory, we wouldn't have to put the dirty rained-on canoes up either! But I didn't get to leave until 4:30pm, because I had to do some stuff. And by stuff, I mean steal extra Volunteer Day t-shirts left over from October. Don't judge me. I wanted to volunteer, but it was on Halloween weekend and I was in Austin.

I hauled butt to Dallas, falling asleep for brief seconds and swerving to stay on the road. Took the fastest shower ever to get the game before half time. I still smelled like campfire. I realized when I started to scream, yell, and sing, that I did in fact inhale a LOT of smoke today and I can barely breath. It's nice. Like asthma.

We WON!! Victory is ours. Well, there's. I try not to associate the winnings and losings with myself. I do nothing that affects the team one way or another. But I am all about the swaying and singing in post-game. I went to dinner with Jason at TGI Fridays after learning that he in fact is indulging his inner-geek and having a video game party on the same night as the last band party of the football season. Boo! And boo to Fridays for taking their sweet time with the food. I got back at 10:00pm and called Kim to find out when her party starts. She said the keg would arrive at 10:30pm, but to be fashionably late. Well, I decided 11:00pm might still be a little early, I'll watch tv until 11:15pm and then head over. I mixed some margaritas in my Nalgene bottle, ready for transport and it was only 10:05pm. I watched Saturday Night Live for a bit and went up to my room to take a nap. I remember Sean coming in for something video game oriented and leaving. I went downstairs to watch the end of SNL and I woke up at 4:20am. Nice. I lost the last party of the season to Sleep. But I went back to sleep and woke up at 10:00am on Sunday. It was the best sleep ever. Sunday, did nothing but watch movies. Yippy. On to real things.

P.S. I've taken two showers and I still smell like campfire.

Doom...

I think I have managed to screw up my entire semester and my plans for the future, based on the actions of one 24-hour period. I knew that I had homework due on Saturday after Pigskin. So on Friday instead of doing it, I worked. Then instead of going over all of my classes to see what else I had to like I had written on my To Do: list, I didn't. Because I'm not very bright. All of the assignments for another class were due by 5pm on Friday. She said no late assignments will be accepted. I am so fu#@ed. I have to have a B average in the Teaching Program to stay in - and I have just screwed myself. I will now commence in crying and begging for the next 22 minutes. Because then I have to go to class. Doom...

I miss Erin!

I miss Erin soooo much. I read her live journal and talk to her occasionally when I am on-line...it makes me soooo sad. Today she goes, I think I'm going to sleep at my desk. I'm not in my room, so it's not really my desk. I wish I could go to my room and take nap.

In the Air Force Academy, you can't nap or lay down during certain times, like during daylight hours, and then some evening hours too. I shit you not. No naps. She wakes up at 5am and doesn't go to sleep until 11pm. The same day that I wrote about wanting to be in Bedford or at camp, she wrote about wanting to be somewhere else too. Here's an excerpt:

I want hot cocoa, with marshmallows. I want to swing on a tire swing. I want to drive home on a closed weekend all alone listening to country. Do you ever wonder why your mind chooses your most vivid memories? I want to drive to Dallas at midnight with Jeff. I want to cuddle up in my orange t-shirt material sheets and scooby doo comforter and explain to Rachel once again why my bed is the best bed in the entire world. I want to be in awe of Jenny, flustered by Jeff, attempt to understand Hadley, and be hugged by Vilbig. I want to be suspiciously eyed by every RA, and awkwardly sit through a wing meeting, totally positive that everyone is staring at me. I want to go back to Valentine's Day last year, with my car in front of McConnell stock full of people on top of my scooby doo comforter, drive to Dallas, play in the snow with Devon's drunk friends, and study for a physics test.

It's the most depressing thing I've ever heard. She is unhappy and there is nothing I can do about it. I will tell anyone that asks, I surround myself with cool people and I don't put up with shit. Erin is like me so much and she is one of the coolest people I know. I don't know how she is making it in the Air Force Academy. And since Erin had this on her journal and I told her I would put it on mine, here is a nice little survey with my comments for my sister. Feel free to comment on me. Got enough to read now, Frnak??

1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. D.J. - Devon Junior, from camp.
2. Am I loveable? Yes.
3. How long have you known me? I remember the day Lynn brought you home.
4. When and how did we first meet? Well, you were born...
5. What was your first impression? You were in a Christmas stocking, because they brought you home on Christmas day, I thought you were small.
6. Do you still think that way about me now? No, you're much taller now.
7. What do you think my weakness is? Arguing with people.
8. Do you think I'll get married? Yeah.
9. What makes me happy? Your friends, your jersey sheets and a bath.
10. What makes me sad? Conflict, lack of communication, and i forget the third one.
11. What reminds you of me? the color orange, scooby doo, and camp, especially that time we went canoeing...
12. If you could give me anything what would it be? happiness
13. How well do you know me? soooo well.
14. When's the last time you saw me? Parents' weekend.
15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? No.
16. Do you think I could kill someone? you do have a large gun in your room...
17. Describe me in one word. brilliant.
18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger, weaker, or staying the same? stronger
19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen? yep.
20. Are you going to put this on your online journal and see what I say about you? done.

The rest of Austin (the city)

So Saturday night Jacque and I met the boys back at Brian and Jason's and Brian slowly cooked the largest hamburger patties in the world, hand made by him of course, and we watched the DVD. It was incredible to see what we were like when we were younger. We were all so immature, and I said so many stupid things! On camera! No alcohol necessary. I didn't have any illegal substances until my senior year of high school. But wow...I'm still embarrassed. We watched all the stuff that our friend Tom, a film student at BYU who recently returned from his mission, made when we were in high school. He made videos and premiered them at my birthday parties, and then someone taped the parties and they made movies of those. The videos were basically: look Tom and Brian know how to edit! and they really like Star Wars. But they got better with time. Brian and Jason even did commentary tracks for his Omnipuss series, I think there are 5 in all. I keep losing count. Don't ask about Omnipuss.

I had forgotten what good friends we were back then; it's sad how so many of us have grown apart. We have divided out our group into no more than two trios and spares have landed all over the world. Even our trios will soon break apart some more. Kristen will be leaving for Colorado in December and Austen wants to move to Louisville. It was sad to hear how much he missed those guys. It would be like me hanging leaving Jason and Frank in Dallas while they stayed here, only visiting them every once in a while. The bubble that we all had when we were in high school seemed so infinite and impenetrable. I thought I would be friends with all of those people forever. I would ditch them for camp every summer for two months, but when I came back, they were still there. And now... I have new friends that I like more than I ever liked some of those people. I am so glad to have dear friends that I will never let go of. I have seen other people who claim close friendships, but don't act like friends when they are together and don't talk about them like friends when they are apart. I can only hope that it's just that I don't see the real friendships that people have, because I'm not one of their friends, and not because these people are so intent on being the life of the party.

We had a good party and I fell asleep first, of course, and we got up the next morning and did the whole leaving thing: lunch, packing, driving home. I was almost surreal.

BUT THEN... We stopped at a gas station for glass bottle cokes, pop rocks, and magazines. Did we find any? No. But I insisted we stop again. We found magazines...thank you Exxon! I read Cosmopolitan to Austen and Jacque for the last hour and a half. I got into the list of sexual positions that you are supposed to try with your partner just as we drove into Dallas. There was a position for every room in the house. Jacque asked if there was one for the stairs, like in that Diane Lane movie. Yes, there is. We decided to go to Humperdink's for dinner, 'cause well...all that reading makes you hungry. It's Halloween and everybody is dressed up except for us and we sit in a booth in the bar, so Austen can watch the game. I don't know which game, some game was on, stop asking questions! Then our waitress with a blonde wig took our order. When she came back she goes, Oh, you're in the band?
I look down at my Mustang Band shirt and say, Yes.
She goes, Oh, well my brother is in the band.
And I say, oh really, who is your brother?
And she says, Frank Medrano.
Frank Medrano is your brother! I exclaim.
Yes.
I know Frank! It's nice to meet you, my name is Devon.
Oh, you're Devon? Frank is always talking about you; he's saying Oh, my friend Devon...

I knew it! You think I'm cool Frank! Stop trying to hide it!

So after dinner, I went over to Jason Hale's to watch the Ring, because I'm stupid. It wasn't that bad. After a year and half, I can watch the first part by myself, but once she gets all into it, I'm under the covers...Stupid scary movie. When I was finding scary movie clips for my Psychology Experiment, I couldn't use the Ring, because the short trailers SCARED ME TOO MUCH.

I'm such a sucker for movies.

Life's Little Lessons:

My psychology professor, Dr. Buck, for Psychology of the Family and Psychological Disorders of Children was a very good professor. His classes were interesting and he always imparted words of wisdom that every person needs to hear to be a successful human being. On the last day of class he gave everyone a handout entitled Life's Little Lessons. He said for us to read it later, we didn't have to read it now, but eventually, we needed to read it. Many of these things are common sense, but I just like the way this list has been worded.

Life's Little Lessons:
I've learned-

that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.

that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

that it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.

that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better know something.

you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do.

that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

that it's going to take me a long time to become the person I want to be.

that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

that you can keep going long after you can't.

that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

that either you control your attitiude or it controls you.

that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

that my best friend and I can do anything and nothing and have the best time.

that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed you.

that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.

that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe in.

*I might have retyped this whole thing to avoid doing my Conventional Literacy paper.

It's Hard Knock Life...

Man, journaling every day is hard. I just like making big updates to keep myself amused.

So this weekend Jacque, Austen (the guy), and I drove down to Austin (the city) for the release of Brian O'Neill's Special Edition DVD with everything he's done (read: we've ever been in) and lots of bonus features. Jacque tells Austen they will arrive at my place at 3:00pm and leave like, right after that. Well, Jacque and I know we're not leaving until 3:15 and I call her and tell her to push it to 3:30 because I'm always late and I didn't get everything done before I went to work. So when we actually do leave at 4:00pm, Austen is a little miffed. I haven't seen Austen really get mad over something stupid like that, just miffed.

Jacque and I have made it a tradition that I buy coke in glass bottles, she buys pop rocks, and we both get trashy magazines to read outloud during road trips. We stopped once on the way there and were so discouraged by the gas station with NO fun candy or beverages and NO magazines. Well, it's only 3 1/2 hours there, we mustn't get our panties in a twist. We listened to music and were there by 7:30pm. We go to Brian's first so we can drop off Austen for their little boys' night. The plan was for us to drop off Austen, then Jacque would drop me off at Ann's and she would go out with her friend Emily. So we go up, Brian and Jason Axe and Kristen have a really nice pad. Very swank. Kristen comes in and yells, "I got a job! $50,000!" This is very rude and inconsiderate - considering Jacque has graduated and is still looking for a job and considering the fact that we just don't like her. Then Brian offers us a tour, and Kristen apologizes for her messy room, citing that she didn't know anybody was coming down this weekend, or she would have cleaned. Brian and Jason had avoided the topic of the release with her, hoping that she wouldn't notice a party at their place all weekend long, but in fact, one month ago Kristen asked Austen flat out if he was going to Brian's thing. She knew people were going, she knew about it, she knew nobody was talking to her about it, so she wasn't invited and she knew that we ALL knew she knew and yet, our dysfunctional little group still played a little I-will-feign-ignorance-so-we-don't-have-a-massive-blowout-during-our-fun-time game. She's just another tiny kink in the the tricycle chain that is this trip.

So Jacque and I ditch Kristen and the boys and go to drop me off at Ann's. It is at this point that Jacque calls Emily to confirm that Emily does indeed have to baby-sit weird creepy buyer guy from New York who invited himself down for an unethical buyer/seller after hours hook-up. This is infact so unethical, that Julie and Emily will be fired if their company finds out this buyer came to visit them. So Jacque would stick with me. We meet Eric, the other person in Ann's life and I quickly discover that she probably loves him more because I forgot her birthday. If it's not on my calendar and I don't see you all the time, I'll FORGET!! I'M SORRY ANN!!! So we go out to dinner then back to their apartment. We spend an hour deciding that we won't go to sixth street, we'll stay in and play trivial pursuit. I shouldn't have to say who lost dreadfully to the freakishly smart quiet boy and his girl friend who play trivial pursuit all the time. Yeah, it was Jacque and me. But to be fair, the 20th Anniversary edition is HARD!

Eric left and we used the blow-up mattress that my grandmother gave me. A rude awakening at 2:00 in the morning - the mattress is not a full like the box says, it's a twin, so Jacque got the couch. The next day we went to brunch and decided to get my hair cut at the mall to kill time. [And can I just say, I love my hair cut. I know I shouldn't be obsessed with my hair, but I kind of am. In that I can't stand when it looks gross, which I think is most of the time, and I have to brush it all the time because my mother's voice is always in my head saying, "Devon, did you wash your hair? It looks all stringy." Yeah, I hear voices, what are you gonna do about it, punk?] Jacque called Emily and told her to bring weird creepy buyer guy to the mall, that way she wouldn't have to be alone with him. Apparently Emily's other seller friend Julie made out with him Friday night and today Julie was going to hang out with some guy so she dumped W.C.B.G. on Emily for a few hours.

But getting my hair cut on the day before Halloween was a treat. Small children were trick-or-treating at the mall and everybody had costumes. My hair dresser recommended taking weird creepy buyer guy to sixth street and then accidentally losing him. Heehee. I got out of the salon and Jacque introduces us and I meet Emily and W.C.B.G. and he goes, I love your hair cut it looks really good and won't let go of my hand. I forgot to mention that the picture he sent Emily and Julie is not what he looks like and he's thirty-something. These girls are 22-23. It's not right. Guhhh, I'm gettin chills just thinking about it. It was like watching a horror movie. When we were at Pottery Barn buying stuff (and by buying stuff, I mean Jacque bought six martini glasses and a shaker, PARTY!) Emily was at the counter and he comes up behind her and puts his hand on her shoulder and it was like I was watching The Ring all over again...I covered my eyes, squirmed, shook my hands at the screen (in their general direction), then realized where I was and that I could be seen so I had to turn and look somewhere else completely stunned, all the while thinking: "OH GOD! HE'S GOT HIS HAND ON HER SHOULDER AND IT JUST LOOKS SO WRONG. THE LOOK ON HER FACE! EWWW, AND ON HIS FACE! GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF, MOVE YOUR HAND WEIRD CREEPY BUYER GUY!!And then Emily took a large step back and he had to move his hand and I could un-tense and form words again. To Williams-Sonoma!

We were at the mall for about 2 hours, including the hour for my hair cut, so in that hour walking around the mall, I realized what it would be like for one of those internet hook-ups. Awkward and wrong. Side bar: we bought Cosmo and Lemon Drop mix and used most of it Saturday night just between Jacque and me. Don't judge. You haven't seen Brian's movies...or Jacque and me acting. Guhhhh...

Well, I'm going to vote. I'll write more later.