It's Hard Knock Life...

Man, journaling every day is hard. I just like making big updates to keep myself amused.

So this weekend Jacque, Austen (the guy), and I drove down to Austin (the city) for the release of Brian O'Neill's Special Edition DVD with everything he's done (read: we've ever been in) and lots of bonus features. Jacque tells Austen they will arrive at my place at 3:00pm and leave like, right after that. Well, Jacque and I know we're not leaving until 3:15 and I call her and tell her to push it to 3:30 because I'm always late and I didn't get everything done before I went to work. So when we actually do leave at 4:00pm, Austen is a little miffed. I haven't seen Austen really get mad over something stupid like that, just miffed.

Jacque and I have made it a tradition that I buy coke in glass bottles, she buys pop rocks, and we both get trashy magazines to read outloud during road trips. We stopped once on the way there and were so discouraged by the gas station with NO fun candy or beverages and NO magazines. Well, it's only 3 1/2 hours there, we mustn't get our panties in a twist. We listened to music and were there by 7:30pm. We go to Brian's first so we can drop off Austen for their little boys' night. The plan was for us to drop off Austen, then Jacque would drop me off at Ann's and she would go out with her friend Emily. So we go up, Brian and Jason Axe and Kristen have a really nice pad. Very swank. Kristen comes in and yells, "I got a job! $50,000!" This is very rude and inconsiderate - considering Jacque has graduated and is still looking for a job and considering the fact that we just don't like her. Then Brian offers us a tour, and Kristen apologizes for her messy room, citing that she didn't know anybody was coming down this weekend, or she would have cleaned. Brian and Jason had avoided the topic of the release with her, hoping that she wouldn't notice a party at their place all weekend long, but in fact, one month ago Kristen asked Austen flat out if he was going to Brian's thing. She knew people were going, she knew about it, she knew nobody was talking to her about it, so she wasn't invited and she knew that we ALL knew she knew and yet, our dysfunctional little group still played a little I-will-feign-ignorance-so-we-don't-have-a-massive-blowout-during-our-fun-time game. She's just another tiny kink in the the tricycle chain that is this trip.

So Jacque and I ditch Kristen and the boys and go to drop me off at Ann's. It is at this point that Jacque calls Emily to confirm that Emily does indeed have to baby-sit weird creepy buyer guy from New York who invited himself down for an unethical buyer/seller after hours hook-up. This is infact so unethical, that Julie and Emily will be fired if their company finds out this buyer came to visit them. So Jacque would stick with me. We meet Eric, the other person in Ann's life and I quickly discover that she probably loves him more because I forgot her birthday. If it's not on my calendar and I don't see you all the time, I'll FORGET!! I'M SORRY ANN!!! So we go out to dinner then back to their apartment. We spend an hour deciding that we won't go to sixth street, we'll stay in and play trivial pursuit. I shouldn't have to say who lost dreadfully to the freakishly smart quiet boy and his girl friend who play trivial pursuit all the time. Yeah, it was Jacque and me. But to be fair, the 20th Anniversary edition is HARD!

Eric left and we used the blow-up mattress that my grandmother gave me. A rude awakening at 2:00 in the morning - the mattress is not a full like the box says, it's a twin, so Jacque got the couch. The next day we went to brunch and decided to get my hair cut at the mall to kill time. [And can I just say, I love my hair cut. I know I shouldn't be obsessed with my hair, but I kind of am. In that I can't stand when it looks gross, which I think is most of the time, and I have to brush it all the time because my mother's voice is always in my head saying, "Devon, did you wash your hair? It looks all stringy." Yeah, I hear voices, what are you gonna do about it, punk?] Jacque called Emily and told her to bring weird creepy buyer guy to the mall, that way she wouldn't have to be alone with him. Apparently Emily's other seller friend Julie made out with him Friday night and today Julie was going to hang out with some guy so she dumped W.C.B.G. on Emily for a few hours.

But getting my hair cut on the day before Halloween was a treat. Small children were trick-or-treating at the mall and everybody had costumes. My hair dresser recommended taking weird creepy buyer guy to sixth street and then accidentally losing him. Heehee. I got out of the salon and Jacque introduces us and I meet Emily and W.C.B.G. and he goes, I love your hair cut it looks really good and won't let go of my hand. I forgot to mention that the picture he sent Emily and Julie is not what he looks like and he's thirty-something. These girls are 22-23. It's not right. Guhhh, I'm gettin chills just thinking about it. It was like watching a horror movie. When we were at Pottery Barn buying stuff (and by buying stuff, I mean Jacque bought six martini glasses and a shaker, PARTY!) Emily was at the counter and he comes up behind her and puts his hand on her shoulder and it was like I was watching The Ring all over again...I covered my eyes, squirmed, shook my hands at the screen (in their general direction), then realized where I was and that I could be seen so I had to turn and look somewhere else completely stunned, all the while thinking: "OH GOD! HE'S GOT HIS HAND ON HER SHOULDER AND IT JUST LOOKS SO WRONG. THE LOOK ON HER FACE! EWWW, AND ON HIS FACE! GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF, MOVE YOUR HAND WEIRD CREEPY BUYER GUY!!And then Emily took a large step back and he had to move his hand and I could un-tense and form words again. To Williams-Sonoma!

We were at the mall for about 2 hours, including the hour for my hair cut, so in that hour walking around the mall, I realized what it would be like for one of those internet hook-ups. Awkward and wrong. Side bar: we bought Cosmo and Lemon Drop mix and used most of it Saturday night just between Jacque and me. Don't judge. You haven't seen Brian's movies...or Jacque and me acting. Guhhhh...

Well, I'm going to vote. I'll write more later.