Astrology

I was watching Bell, Book, and Candle one last time before I decided I must return it to get Sex in the City from Netflix. This time I took special notice of the scene where Jimmy Stewart stumbles upon a witch's nightclub. The door man said if the time is right, he and his date would be let in. Then the man asked for his sign. Jimmy Stewart's character told him his sign and the doorman said, the sign is right, you may enter. Using astrological signs to decide who goes into a club... The film is corny and cliche, but it's amusing. I was bored and decided to skim one of the random astrology books I have and found the description for Pisces, me. Tell me this doesn't describe me... Well, don't tell me that - just read it and judge for yourself.

"Best Traits: You are so intuitive and metaphysical that you make a trip to the mall a mystical experience. [Do I?]
Biggest Problems: The combination of your overgenerious nature and your attraction to questionable characters causes you to be taken advantage of easily.
Trademark: 'What do you mean, I have to go to work? Can't I just stay home and pretend I'm doing something?'
Best job: Psychic, painter. [A psychic or a painter, not a psychic painter, smart-ass]
Worst job: Financial analyst. [True!]
What you Love: Spending large amounts of time being romantic and dreamy.
What you Hate: Balancing your checkbook. [Also true.]
Best Way to Make a Million Bucks: You're much better at spending it than earning it.
Best Way to Spend a Million Bucks: Just by living your life: sleeping, eating, playing, daydreaming, meditating, giving large sums to the needy, and taking in stray animals.
Your Secret Desire: To be taken care of and never have to worry about small stuff like paying your rent and electric bill. [That's why Jason and I are going to marry rich men!]

Pisces are the most agreeable, compassionate, and psychic people in the universe. The last sign of the zodiac, the Fish has a small part of all the others within its makeup, creating a connection to all that is. [This is why I can always sense when my cell is about to ring, or Jason's cell. Ask him, it's uncanny]
Ruled by Neptune, the watery planet of the underworld, you truly understand the depths of the soul. Swimming along in a never-ending sea, you're adaptable, changeable, fickle, and indecisive. [So true] It's hard for you to distinguish the boundaries between you and those around you. Easily influenced by your environment, you get confused by your emotions, not knowing which are really yours and which belong to someone else.
You're a great healer, and you choose your friendships wisely. In all of your relationships you seek the ultimate connection of body, mind, and spirit. You're romantic, sentimental, and kind, but you're insecure about everything. Deeply artistic and mysterious, you always seem to have a certain amount of drama swirling around you.
Pisces hate reality. You shy away from harsh working environmnets, choosing intead careers in the theater, fine arts, and psychology. [Hello!] You can easily get caught up in life's illusions: procrastinating, sleeping late, staying up all night watching your favorite movies. You're a denial expert. [It's all right here, kids. See January 1 for all night movie watching.]
Spiritual, ethereal Pisces is the zodiac's link to another dimension, but exactly where that is, nobody knows."

Swear, straight from the book. Ask me if you want to borrow it. And there is much more than descriptions, too. Oh I also have a palmistry book and an Ouija board, if anybody is looking... Yeah, don't have many requests for those, either.

Hey, quit, quit judging me!! Obviously there exceptions to the descriptions and exceptions to every rule. But I find the idea of astrology amusing.