So this past weekend...

Friday at noon-thirty Jacque called to tell me that she was on her way to pick me up. I was still trying to find everything that I could possibly need for the next thirty hours so that I could stuff it into an incredibly tiny bag. Blazer, dress shirt, khakis ... shampoo, toothbrush, hairdryer. I'm rushing around trying to find everything before she gets here and I still need to put my make-up on. We're meeting Jason Axe and Brian O'Neill in Huntsville, at Sam Houston State, not the prison, to take pictures at the graduation. We arrived at the crappiest Motel 6 I've ever seen and there were two rooms left. Jacque thought that her boss would have one room and we would get the other, because the hotel was packed and we couldn't get another room. So that meant that the four of us would have to share this tiny room with two tiny beds. It did not bode well for us. Brian bitched and moaned, but Jacque eventually found out that her boss wasn't staying the night and the second room belonged to Brian and Jason. Unfortunately it smelled like urine, or so they said, Jacque and I never smelled anything... But anyway, we did the graduation, then we went out to Chili's. Mmm. Quesadillas and a margarita. Sleep, 2nd graduation at the butt-crack of dawn, then the third and the day was over. I was exhausted, those cameras were heavy! And I have the upper arm strength of a four year old. But we drove home, I had enough time to check the mail and then went over to Jacque's for grilling.

Mike and Austen and I were having an enjoyable evening and I decided to call Kim and congratulate her on her graduation ... and to see what she was doing. Jacque wanted to see "Monster-in-Law" but the rest of us were thinking, anything else but that. So Kim was all, well, Spaz and Luke and Jason Hicks and Daniel Powell and her were going to meet somewhere I was like, well, bringing them to Jacque's would be a horrible idea and to call me back when they knew where they were going. Then Jacque insisted I call Kim back and tell her to bring them over. So I did and they were going to come by after a while. So while we watched "Top Gun" and ate dinner, I went at the task to get shit-faced. Inappropriate beverages dull the senses and I can't take Luke and Ryan sober. Well I totally succeeded. I believe that I was biting Austen's arm as we were fighting for the honor of Jacque's Rainbow Brite doll when the group arrived. Shit-faced I was. It was fairly uneventful, I was polite, I think. I don't think I said anything rude. Spilled shitty Long Island Iced Tea all over myself. At one point Ryan snatched Luke's Season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer that I TOLD HIM he forfeited to us when he refused to talk to us for a year. But Ryan grabbed and was like "sshhhh" and I was so drunk, I did sshhhh. Oh well. Kim still has the flask as far as I know. They left eventually. We tried to follow them to a bar, but never made it out of the apartment. And nobody was okay enough to drive. We continued to fight over the Rainbow Brite doll and eventually Jacque and Austen were "looking for Rainbow Brite" in her bedroom with the lights off, so all I did was close the door. I politely waited about 34.5 hours before I asked her what happened. Anyway, so Mike and I watched tv, fell asleep, then we all went home when Jacque and Austen finally emerged. I drove home, watched a little "Life and Death of Peter Sellers" with Sean, then went to sleep around 5:15am. I promptly woke up at 4:30pm. With a large bruise the size of a door knob on my lower back and a smaller, less ugly bruise on my left shoulder. Will never defend Jacque's doll again. Am staying out of childish fighting. For at least a week... Well, gotta go.